PA ROSS

I come from a long line of storytellers.  My  great Uncle Zeke has gone into the archives of Florida history for not only his fiddling ability, but his story-telling ability as well. My great Uncle Dell knew all of the true versions of the stories that Uncle Zeke made interesting. My Grandpa could tell some whoppers, too! Then, of course, my dad being the youngest of five, listened to everyone, took it all in and could tell stories with the best of them!

The tall tales in my family were called "Bull Stories."  One can only guess why.  Many of them were designed to scare children into doing what you wanted them to do.  There was the story of Epiminondis, which was designed to keep you near your parents.  There was Jose, which was to scare you into doing the right thing, and then the monster of all Bull Story heroes was PA ROSS!  I still shudder a little bit when I think of him.
And believe you me, all of us kids knew who PA ROSS was!!!!

He was supposed to be big and hairy, and hide in the woods.  Not just some woods, any woods. But he especially liked the woods near our house.  PA ROSS did, however have a home.  He lived in the Forestry towers along the sides of the road (you know, the ones with a thousand stairs and a big observation hut at the top), that was so that he could see all of us at once.  He was kind of like the "Boogey Man" if you were ever aquainted with him.  He was big, hairy,  kind of like Sasquatch and would "get you" if you wandered unattended into any woods, ever. 

Mom loved PA ROSS and thus, perpetuated him, making him a little bigger and scarier.  It worked for her.  If we were playing outside after dark, she reminded us that PA ROSS came out of the woods at night, and that small children were probably just a snack! He also liked to swim at night and would pass through our yard on his way to the bayou.  This way, she didn't have to hunt us at night and we didn't ask to swim at night. 

It also kept me quiet for a few minutes on long trips, too.  Because my dad would warn me when we got within a 5 mile radius of the " PA ROSS" towers and told me that PA ROSS could hear children and we needed to be quiet so he wouldn't chase us.

When I got older and thought I knew so much, I thought about how cruel it was to do us like that!  But then, I had kids!!! PA ROSS, though a little scary did achieve the desired result! And really..I don't have too many scars.  I just drive an extra 20 miles out of the way to dodge a forestry tower!

Don't Judge!!!