Laughter through tears and April Showers bring May Flowers

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion"--Truvy, Steel Magnolias

"April Showers bring May Flowers"--Every teacher at Parker Elementary School (except Maybe Mrs. Houpt, the PE teacher)

"Weeping may last for the night, but Joy comes in the morning."--God

In a few days it will be a month since my Mama, aka "The pretty one" went home.  It was, as many people said, "expected".  After all, she has battled Alzheimer's Disease for nearly 20 years, why should it be such a shock?  Well, I have learned one thing...No matter how ready we think we are, we aren't.  Mama's bags had been packed for awhile, and she was probably the most ready one of the bunch.  I learned another thing...sitting and waiting and watching has its benefits.  Being with family and remembering the life we are escorting to eternity can be wonderful.  We laughed, got along, cried, and kept watch.  On the morning she left us and woke up in Jesus' arms, I was exhausted from crying, and from somewhere deep inside me, I thought that the world would never be the right again.  Although I didn't talk to Mom everyday, or despite the fact that we hadn't been able to have a heart-to heart conversation in a very long time, I still missed my Mama and  I still felt very alone.

But, as the family members and friends gathered, and each took their role, there was laughter through tears as each person remembered "Gram, Mom, Mama, Mimi or Georgie" in their own way. Babies, were held, hugs were passed around, and love was shared. " Laughter through tears" is definitely a favorite emotion of mine, too, Truvy."

The end of April turned out to be exceedingly rainy, and a little cool.  It suited my mood.  Upon returning home, I felt detached, sad, sleepy, angry (why, I don't know) and chilled to the bone. I snapped at people I loved, quit exercising and kept looking at the world through April's tears.

This past weekend, Some rest came and some time to relax. Laughter began to return, and Monday morning I went for a long walk.  The sun was up when I left home a little before 6:00 am.  I was immediately hit by the luxurious smells of the Southern Summer: Lagustrum in full bloom and magnolias just beginning to bloom, honeysuckle and confederate Jasmine everywhere, too.  The first thing I did was thank God  that I didn't have allergy issues, and the second thing I did was to take a deep breath and inhale all the way to my toes.  My senses came alive, and I realized that April Showers do give way to May flowers, and that it takes the April's rains to make the majestic beauty of May, that for me, it took the tears of April to feel the warmth of the May sunshine encompass me

So, was I ready to let her go?  No, Do I feel as though I am alone? No.  I have the calm reassurance once again that Laughter through tears is good, May flowers are majestic and that Joy really does come in the morning.